Episode 67

full
Published on:

3rd Jan 2025

UNDONE RETREAT (DETAILS, VISION, AND INVITATION)

***TIME SENSITIVE - doors to join UNDONE close on 1/8 and the opening circle of the retreat starts on 1/13 (first full moon of the year)

UNDONE is a 3 month virtual retreat for coaches, doulas, and spiritual entrepreneurs DONE following someone else's rules for success and  ready to stop playing small, reclaim their unapologetic truth, and collapse timelines without burning out

More details about UNDONE and sign up HERE

FAQs HERE

Your retreat ticket includes:

🌿 6 juicy live workshops with Nicole— journeying through the 3 pillars (alchemize, activate, attune) 

🌿 6 guest workshops— to glean the wisdom, magick and lived experience from fellow wise women (Check out previous episodes #64, 65, 66 to meet and tase the energy of 3 out of the 6 guest workshop facilitators)

🌿 Almost weekly 15-minute pop-up micro-circles (camera-off dance parties, breathwork, guided rest, journaling led by Nicole)

🌿 A private Slack community for connection, unfiltered reflection and big celebration

🌿 And of course access to a lifetime sisterhood of women also committed to their truth and holding similar visions and ambitions as you - because, together we rise 


DM me on IG (@nicolepasveer) with questions or to set up a clarity/connection call

Transcript
Speaker:

You're listening to Rewild and Free.

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This is the go to podcast for

conscious and holistic entrepreneurs

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who are ditching society's

to do list for intentional

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living, freedom, and abundance.

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If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasveer.

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I'm an ex nurse turned matrescence

guide and business coach leading women

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just like you into the new paradigm.

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Keep listening if you're ready to

unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood,

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bro marketing, and boss babe culture.

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Because in this We use nature as our

framework as we move towards feminine

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embodied business development,

cyclical orientation, and slow living.

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Together, let's rewild and remember

as we break free from survival and

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reconnect to what truly matters.

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Okay friend, steep your tea and take

the most loving breath you've given

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to yourself today and let's go.

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Oh my gosh, it's Friday, January

3rd, and I just realized I

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haven't recorded a proper formal

episode about my Undone Retreat.

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We are starting in less than two weeks.

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Doors close to sign up next

Wednesday, so January 8th.

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And yeah, I just had this like wave of

like, oh shit, how did I forget that?

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I've been talking about it in all the

places, and I've been having some of the

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guest workshop facilitators that are that

will be part of Undone on this podcast.

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So I mean, if you have been listening,

you probably know about it by now.

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But yeah, I haven't actually spent

an episode just talking about it.

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So here we are.

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I'm going to spend an episode

talking about the Undone retreat.

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And I actually remembered that way,

way back in December, I actually

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pulled this from December 4th.

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I went for a walk down in the beautiful.

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Forest by my house.

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It had snowed recently and so you can

hear in the background me Stepping

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on like fresh crunchy snow I highly

recommend when we get to that part

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where I play that recording back

that you do not listen on like 1.

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5 or 2x speed because it makes it sound

like I'm walking like a psycho lady.

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So please, listen at 1x speed for

that portion because it's actually

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really peaceful to hear the footsteps

and the snow in the background.

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But yeah, before I share that

little recording that I made,

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I first just want to say how

excited I am about this retreat.

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I feel like I mean, I feel like people say

this about a lot of their offers, but this

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really does feel like one of those things

that has been a long time in the making.

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I see so many of the through lines

of my life and my business coming

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together in this beautiful like

orchestra for what the bones and the

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vibe of this retreat are evolving into.

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And funny enough, this all started

with a workshop that I was planning to

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host back in October, I think, around

frustration and really beginning to

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learn how to glean the wisdom from some

of those heavier, stickier emotions that

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we tend to, like, gaslight or suppress.

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And that still is absolutely

one part of this retreat.

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I'm calling that a retreat.

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Kind of a pillar.

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That pillar is emotional or energetic

alchemy, and it's really beginning to

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just notice what we notice and bring our

attention as radical witnesses to our

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inner world around that spinning tires

kind of energy, you know, when you feel

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like you're doing all the right things

but things still aren't working and

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you have those moments of frustration

and disappointment and maybe even like

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anger and bitterness and resentment

creep in, but there's a part of you

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that's not actually allowing yourself

to feel those things because gaslighting

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yourself or you're um, You've told

yourself someday, one day, that those

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emotions aren't actually safe to feel,

and that makes you weak, or it makes you

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bitchy, or it makes you entitled,

or whatever label you kind of smack

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on yourself when you actually allow

yourself to feel those things.

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And I'm trying to think

if I have an example.

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I mean, recently, I've been, I suppose,

disappointed in how this launch is going

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so far, and And Instead of gaslighting

myself and thinking oh, well, like it

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could be worse or there's all these

things that are Great about it and

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really not allowing myself to feel

the disappointment I've been allowing

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myself to sit in that disappointment and

really kind of getting curious about the

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stories that I might be holding about

it and if it's Actually stuff that's in

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my control and I mean usually it's not

a lot of disappointment is in Like the

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algorithm and, um, tech glitches and

the frustration that comes with that.

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And the thing is, is we can sit in that

energy and kind of allow it to turn into

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excuses and roadblocks and hiccups, and we

can kind of become victims to that energy.

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Or we can be that radical witness, get

radically curious about what else is

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going on there, what other emotions

are at play, what wisdom is there

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for us, and really tap into that and,

and not be victims of the situation.

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Instead, show up from like this empowered

state and really, um, take back control

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where, where we do have control and,

consciously release and surrender To the

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places that we don't have control over.

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And so that's what I've been doing, right?

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I've consciously been surrendering to

the places that I don't have control,

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like the algorithm, like I, it's.

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Is it even real?

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Um, and instead of like being frustrated

or disappoint and disappointed in metrics

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on Instagram, can I instead like put my

energy into really trusting that my work

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is reaching the people that needs to and

like this podcast is reaching the people

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that it's need to, that it needs to.

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And instead of sitting here all pouty,

like, Oh, wow, nobody's signing up.

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I thought more people

would sign up by now.

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What if instead I like tapped in to.

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The other possibility, the other

possibility that calling in 20 women to

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this thing, so let's say the remaining

women that I have seats for are

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literally in the place of discerning

whether this is for them or not.

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They've been looking at the sales page

over and over again, they are talking

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with their husbands or whoever they

kind of make financial decisions around

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investing with, and literally maybe

tonight they're about to plug their

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credit card information in, right?

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That's an absolute possibility.

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And so it's kind of this invitation

to get really, um, I guess aware and

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curious around those stories that we

hold with those emotions and coming

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back to, yeah, like I said, what we

actually have control over and actually

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reframing some of those stories

because often they're not really true.

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So I don't know, I'm not going to

spend this episode talking about that.

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That energetic and emotional

alchemy is one piece of.

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Where I want to bring

us through in Undone.

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The other pieces are identity activation

and nervous system attunement.

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And with identity activation, what

I mean by that, I don't mean like

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this fluffy like manifestation stuff.

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What I mean is like, who

do you actually need to be?

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What, what identities no longer fit?

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And what do you need to let go

of to be who you want to be?

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And, and watching how when we

can activate those identities,

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our behaviors and our actions.

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Naturally and organically start to shift.

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So it becomes like this hack almost

in shifting our reality instead of

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feeling like we need to do all this

mindset work or change our environment

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or hire more coaches or whatever.

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do whatever it is that you think

you might have to do, there's

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another, there's another way.

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There's a more efficient and simple

way, and it's to really fine tune,

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fine tune and refine that identity and

that self concept and the story that

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we're holding around our self worth.

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And a beautiful example of kind of

a simple way to begin experimenting

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with this is beginning to notice like

what What programs you're plugged

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into, what beliefs you have been

holding around your identity, for

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example, like, perfectionism is.

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A common one or, um, procrastination or

people pleasing or one that shows up in

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my life a lot that I've noticed kind of

creates some, uh, sticky situations for me

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is this identity of being really logical.

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So because I'm holding on to some

of those labels as identities,

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they are tinting and distorting.

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The way my reality gets

reflected back to me, right?

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Our, our subconscious is always looking

for things to validate what we believe.

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So if we believe that we need to maintain

this identity of being logical or being a

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people pleaser or being a perfectionist,

we are constantly going to have

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experiences to validate that identity.

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Instead, when we plug into hold on

before I get into that, just sharing more

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about this identity around being logical

and where, how that shows up for me.

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So this, this identity, like I've

been praised for my entire life.

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being super logical and being wise

beyond my years and being mature and

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um, I don't even know what else, right?

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Just, just being analytical and this

showed up in like getting good grades in

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school and being really thoughtful and

considerate and thinking things through.

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And where I've noticed this showing up

in my life now is actually this massive

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disconnect to my body because I'm so

stuck in my head because that's what

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I've been praised for for so long.

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So, There's been a lot of work that I've

had to consciously do around reconnecting

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to my body and feeling safe again to

really trust the communication that my

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body's given me because I've literally

been programmed and conditioned to spend

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so much time in my head and to logic

my way through things that maybe logic

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shouldn't even be a part of, right?

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And when we talk about like intuition

and innate desire and, Stuff like that.

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That's all like body based when we talk

about nervous system stuff That's all

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body based and I just shared on instagram

today, too This experience that I had

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earlier this week where I fucking fainted

I've literally never fainted in my life,

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but I fainted in my kitchen the other

night out of nowhere Um, and i'm not going

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to get into that But what I am going to

share from that is again recognizing how

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quick I am to want to intellectualize The

experience and want to intellectualize

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like the meaning behind what happened and

what my nervous system was doing or what

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my nervous system needs from me or what

I need to do to shift a state or like

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fix or regulate my nervous system, right?

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Immediately thinking, Oh my God,

like I, my nervous system shut down.

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Like I went into a full

fucking freeze response.

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What's wrong with me?

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What did I do or didn't

do to get me there?

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And I, I began ruminating

on that and that.

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That really was me intellectualizing.

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my nervous system when what would

have been probably more healing and

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more supportive and more beneficial

is Really just connecting back to my

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body and I mean I did do this, right?

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I was able to notice it notice this

pattern of mine I noticed the pattern

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of wanting to intellectualize and

instead I got to disrupt that pattern

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And really come back to my body and

just allow my body to lead and my

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body to tell me like what I needed

next Right and it was pretty simple.

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I needed to go lay down I needed to

kind of just have this like energetic

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reset call my energy back To me because

I feel like the past week or so has

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been energetically Dysregulating

we've been in a lot of places.

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We've been a lot of social

gatherings My energy has just

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been in a lot of places, right?

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And I also just needed to like have warm

nourishing food It And it was that simple,

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and I'm totally fine, and here we are.

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But my point with that is like, the label

of being logical really shows up in the

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context of me trying to make decisions in

my business, or trying to make decisions

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in my life, and constantly wanting to

filter it through my logical brain,

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and not necessarily trusting my body.

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And this also shows up in not

feeling safe to like make impulsive

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decisions, because if I'm making

an impulse decision that must mean

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I'm not thinking something through.

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And again, I've been praised as

someone that thinks something through.

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So it's like this identity that I've

been clinging on to, this identity

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that I want to maintain and, and,

and yeah, maintain a reputation with.

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And so when we begin to kind of clean

slate our identities cleans, like

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what I mean by that is like wipe

away all these labels that we've been

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identifying and clinging to, we then

have this clean slate to consciously

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decide what are we plugging into.

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Right?

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And so I can consciously decide to not

plug into Being a logical person anymore.

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I can consciously decide not to

plug into being a people pleaser and

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being a perfectionism, perfectionist,

and all these other things,

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overachiever, whatever it is, right?

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And, and this all happens with awareness

and other tools and strategies that we're

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going to work through in Undone to really

curate an intentional self concept, right?

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We, we are creators of a reality and

that starts with bringing our frequency,

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our essence up to the level of like the

things that we're calling in, right?

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So that we become a right fit match

to the energy that we're calling in.

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So that's what I mean

with identity activation.

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It's not like fluffy manifestation stuff.

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It's it's It's really juicy,

core healing, self worth stuff.

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And then the third pillar in this

retreat is nervous system attunement.

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And this is a big one.

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This is probably going to show up in

some way in almost every conversation

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we have in the retreat because we're

no longer, you know, Trying to regulate

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our nervous systems like that is so

:

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there's this connotation of like

control and this need to fix and it

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really perpetuates and Promotes this

this feeling of not enoughness, right?

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I'm doing something wrong.

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I'm not doing something enough.

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There's something wrong with me There's

something wrong with my nervous system

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Do you see where I'm going with this?

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Right?

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And that's not the goal.

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The goal is actually to just

come into right relationship

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with our nervous systems.

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Like I said, the goal

isn't to intellectualize.

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The goal is to really begin to embody

the wisdom and the communication

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that our nervous system offers us.

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And we're not there to

try to control or fix.

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Instead, we're there to be

in relationship with, right?

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So that looks like tending to

and supporting and, right?

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Just being that radical.

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Witness and that supporter and,

beginning to build our capacity

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and our resilience and our, and our

flexibility within our nervous systems,,

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like window of tolerance, right?

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When we talk about like activating

a new identity, that often

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brings our nervous system into

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Activation, because anything new, anything

unfamiliar feels unsafe, and so our

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nervous system deems it as a threat.

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And so, So instead of trying to like

shift that state and control that state,

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instead we get to use that as like a

piece of data and get curious about

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it and really just like notice what

we're noticing within our body as those

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things are happening and then learn to

resource ourself internally instead of

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needing things outside of us to hold

that potential discomfort and titrate it.

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Right into, into safety, chitrate

a little bit to the growth

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edge and back into safety.

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And this is how we widen our capacity.

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This is how we begin to meet

and expand our growth edges.

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And, and have the resiliency

and the capacity to go after the

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things that we're calling in.

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Because right now, I'm guessing some

of your big, dreamy, juicy desires,

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probably things that you've never

spoken out loud, feel really, really

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unsafe and edgy to your nervous system.

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So the nervous system piece is so,

so important when we're talking

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about identity activation and going

after desires, because we have to

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get our nervous systems on board.

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Another thing I've been saying

recently is, our nervous systems

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are the CEO to our business, right?

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And so.

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Being in right relationship with them

allows us to really show up to our

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businesses from a more empowered state

instead of feeling, again, kind of

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getting sucked into that victim mode

of like, oh, well, there I am again.

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It's like my people pleasing and

perfectionism getting in the way, or

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there I am again, like devaluing myself

and, um, saying yes, when I mean no,

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or maybe saying no, when I mean yes.

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And it's all of these things.

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So.

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I have already rambled more than I

wanted to because I have this clip that

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I want to share with you about What

coming undone means to me and so i'm

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gonna take you there next like I said

Make sure you're listening at 1x speed

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for this because me walking in the snow

is a really peaceful Auditory sensation

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When I think of coming undone, it's this.

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This art of deconditioning, and

unmasking, and shedding old identities

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and beliefs that no longer fit,

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and

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censoring your wildest wisdom,

literally letting truth

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move through you,

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discerning, I think

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we do that by first kind of

getting clear on who we are.

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What's not working.

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Where are things feeling

really clunky or sticky or,

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I don't know, just like

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you feel like you're doing all

the right things but you're not

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actually feeling fulfilled with them.

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Maybe also taking an inventory

of what does feel good.

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And really using like the senses of the

body to guide us here, not just our logic.

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Because you've likely been using your

logic all this time, and it's making

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you feel like a shell of yourself.

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Because you're,

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in some aspects, on autopilot.

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In some aspects, following what

I call society's to do list.

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Or, going after, you know, Someone

else's like version of success.

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I have to have so much space

and compassion for this because

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there's nothing inherently

wrong with that.

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That is a beautiful

nervous system adaptation.

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Ancestrally you've had to do those

things to literally maintain survival

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and maintain a seat at the table

and maintain a spot in your tribe.

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But that's not how we have to live

anymore, and so we are literally

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rewiring our nervous system to

attune to A higher frequency where

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we're not in survival anymore.

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And so when we're not in

survival, how do we move?

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How do we breathe?

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How do we speak?

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Where do we spend our money?

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Who do we hang out with?

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What do we say yes to?

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What do we say no to?

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How do we fill our days?

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What do we dream about?

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What do we dream about when

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our dreams are no longer solely

about getting out of survival?

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If we know we're safe.

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If we know our success is inevitable.

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If

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we know that God's source universe

has our back and is there to support

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us, our wildest desires,

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our act of sacred service for our own

personal healing and the collective,

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what do we want?

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This might feel like really big

questions and it's very possible that

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it feels really hard to even think about

these things because like I said, you've

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been in the state of survival for so long.

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You've been in a state of over

committing, overachieving, overdoing.

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Out of fear that

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you wouldn't be enough or successful

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if you didn't do all those things.

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Hasn't felt safe to just radically exist

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because somewhere along the lines

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your sense of worthiness

has gotten tangled with

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Things that aren't actually true.

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Not anymore, at least.

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And so if it feels really hard

to come up with answers of

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what do you want, that's okay.

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This is

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an exercise you can come back to.

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This is something that you can kind of

create a daily practice of daydreaming.

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And your mind might actually

say that's impossible or that's

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delusional or that's crazy.

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And that's actually evidence

that you are getting.

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To the right place.

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That's the kind of bigness.

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It's the kind of potential and

possibility we want to start

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bringing to our awareness and allowing

our body to sense into an experience.

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If your mind is similar to

mine and you tend to go down

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the worst case scenario train.

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And, kind of come up with all

the reasons that things might

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not work out, or all the, the,

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the situations that might happen.

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And her minds do this, very powerful,

very smart very wise, do this to create

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a sense of safety and to create a sense

of control, to create a sense of just

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like self trust and okay, I'm prepared

for all of these different situations.

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And again, there's nothing inherently

wrong with that, but it kind of keeps us

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in this closed off, keeps us, it's like

a self, self created box, box of safety.

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It's our comfort zone.

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And so a way to kind of work with this and

move around it is instead, ask yourself

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what if, and go the best case, go down

the best case scenario train, almost like

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a, a child getting super excited to go

somewhere I wonder if they'll have ice

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cream, I wonder what flavors they'll have,

I wonder if, Mickey Mouse will be there.

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I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, right?

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And you see the expansiveness of

that and even just the, the openness

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and the, the softness that your

body kind of enters when you, when

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you start going on that train.

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Literally got full body chills

because that train is powerful.

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That train is limitless.

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And when we can literally start to

train our minds by using our body

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as a compass of what feels good.

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good and what feels delicious

and what feels expansive.

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Then literally, the possibility and the

potential of our reality is limitless.

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And that's where we're going.

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We get there by coming undone.

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We get there by dismantling and crumbling

and releasing and composting the

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boxes, the labels, and the conditions.

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That have been placed around us.

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That we have subconsciously been

placing ourselves into as well.

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We have to come undone for it.

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We have to untame and rewild.

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And

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likely start off a little messy.

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A little vulnerable.

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A little clunky.

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And again, our nervous system is

going to say this is, this isn't safe.

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Because it equates

safeness with familiarity.

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So anything that's not

familiar feels unsafe.

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Even though, again, that's

not inherently true.

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This is where we get stuck in these

toxic loops and toxic patterns.

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Because, There's a sense

of safety in familiarity.

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There's a sense of safety

in our comfort zone.

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So we have to break the mold.

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We have to, we have to do things that

Feel unfamiliar and learn to soothe and

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resource and support our nervous systems

as we meet and expand those edges.

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And that's what we're doing inside Undone.

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I could go on and on and on about

the potential and the possibility

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of what you might walk away with.

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But honestly, that's

not up for me to decide.

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That's not up for me to create a list of

things for you to check box yourself into.

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It's for you to assign

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and what a beautiful time

of year to do this work.

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What a beautiful way to

start off a new year.

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What a beautiful way to

hold space and gratitude for

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this current year and the previous

years, and all of the, the places you've

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been and the experiences you've had.

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What a beautiful way to, again,

attuned to a higher frequency where

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you aren't in survival anymore.

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Where your default is to notice

success all around you and your

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default is to notice your gains and

your growth instead of being stuck

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and ruminating on the gaps and all the

reasons, all the learnt limitations

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keeping you from your possibility.

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:

The song Do You Believe in Miracles just

came to mind because literally there's

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miracles all around us all fucking day.

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Do

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All we have to do is

open our eyes to them.

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All we have to do is open our hearts

and our bodies to the possibility of

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them actually happening to us, for us.

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The world can change in an instant.

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I bet you can think of moments in

your life where things did change

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drastically, where things felt like

luck or, or like a miracle wow Can't

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believe this happened so quickly.

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I can't believe things are

unfolding so easefully.

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This feels too good to be true.

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And maybe you can also, as you're thinking

about those experiences, notice where

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you contracted and braced because

again, your nervous system said,

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Oh my God, this is unfamiliar.

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This goodness, this pleasure, this

ease, this simplicity is unfamiliar.

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Therefore, it must be unsafe.

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And this is where combining mindset

and somatic work is so powerful.

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Because somatically, I think we

can get in these loops of oh,

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okay, body doesn't feel safe.

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And then we, we literally, our

reality mirrors that and so

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we come back to, to safeness.

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And like I said, safeness

doesn't necessarily mean

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it's actually good for us.

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So we come back to our comfort zone

and then there isn't actually growth

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and so even though things started to

unfold for you, you subconsciously this

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:

is where like self sabotage comes in.

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I don't necessarily believe in

sabotage because, again, these

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are adaptive protective responses.

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Our nervous system, our bodies are

so fucking wise but this is where

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mindset work is so powerful because

we can help change their stories

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and specifically like identity work

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:

and really.

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Stepping into a different identity

and choosing the embodiment of

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that identity can be so powerful

because there's like this triangle.

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Where beliefs, thoughts, actions,

environment we can change all those

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:

things, but that's a very slow drip.

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That's that's one pathway.

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It's not the, it's not the

most efficient pathway.

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The most efficient pathway

is to shift our identity.

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Because when we shift our identity,

all of those things shift and

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crumble and recalibrate organically.

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And the identity work is two fold, right?

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It's, it's mind and body.

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Because if we just

focus on mind, our body,

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Retracts, and if we just focus on,

on body, I mean, that sometimes

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:

works, but if you have a, a loud,

very active, very powerful mind like

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:

mine, we can get stuck in these loops.

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So anyways, this is what

we're doing in Undone.

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We are literally activating a new

identity, which in turn causes

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:

like a fucking timeline leap

in your life and your business.

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:

And there's a reason that it's stripped

out over 12 weeks, because I don't

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:

want this to feel like something that

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:

is just like this one and done

intensive over a weekend and then you

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:

have to integrate it back into life.

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Specifically paced in such a way that

there is room for integration, there's

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room for witnessing each other, yourself,

and working out the kinks as they come up.

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:

Moving through your own cycles.

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:

Because again, things, things feel

different, our thoughts are different.

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:

Depending on what phase in

our menstrual cycle we're in.

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:

And so, beautiful thing about a

12 week portal is that we get to

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:

work with three different seasons.

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And this is all happening if you're in

the Northern Hemisphere in the season

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:

of winter, which is a beautiful time for

channeling new identities and doing that

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:

like below ground work so that as we re

emerge and come out of this portal it'll

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be right around springtime and seasonally,

naturally, that's a beautiful time to

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just beginning to Nourish those seeds

that are planted and kind of it's fertile

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:

New beginnings blah blah blah blah blah.

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:

So this is what we're doing.

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:

This is where we're going message

me if you want to save your spot

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:

Yeah, let's do it

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:

Okay, there you have it.

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:

A full episode about the Undone Retreat.

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:

Of course, all the links are

going to be in the show notes.

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:

I also have an FAQ section that

I will link, likely answering

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:

some of your burning questions.

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:

And of course, if you want to

have a conversation with me and

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:

really discern if this is the right

experience for you in this season

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:

of your life, then my DMs are open.

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:

I'd be happy to set up a Zoom

call or even going back and forth

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:

on Voxer or anything like that.

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:

And once again, the doors are closing

on Wednesday, January 8th, and we

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:

officially start with an opening

circle on Monday, January 13th, which

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:

is the first full moon of the year.

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About the Podcast

REWILD + FREE
personal growth meets embodied business development for mother entrepreneurs
The go-to podcast for conscious and spiritual entrepreneurs swapping society’s to do list for intentional living, freedom and abundance, while creating impact and legacy in their home + business. Hosted by Nicole Pasveer, your like hearted mom friend and biz bestie wrapped in one. Nicole is an ex nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Follow and subscribe to the show if you’re ready to detach from patriarchal motherhood, bro marketing and boss babe culture, in this space, we use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living. Together, let’s REWILD + remember as we break FREE from survival and reconnect to what really matters. Connect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer)

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Nicole Pasveer