Lil coaching industry riff including my take on bespoke offer creation + contracts(73)

Speaker: 00:00:01

You're listening to Rewild and Free.

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If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasveer.

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I'm an ex nurse turned matrescence

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Okay friend, steep your tea and take

the most loving breath you've given

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to yourself today and let's go.

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Okay.

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I am on my computer getting some

stuff done and Dylan just took

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Aubrey to the swimming pool.

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So I have a pocket of time and there's

some stuff swirling in my head that I want

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to talk out loud about and just share,

I suppose some of the things that I'm

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working on right now, but also just a big

epiphany I've recently had in my business.

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And maybe we'll start there.

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I have.

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Obviously been on this ongoing evolution

in my business and playing around with

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like different packages and playing

around with, I shouldn't even say playing

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around with, but like really subscribing

to this idea that I think a lot of us

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are fed in the coaching industry where.

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We're quote unquote, supposed to

create these offers, create these

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containers and outline how many weeks.

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And obviously like the details of how

many calls and the structure and who it's

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for and what they're gonna get out of it.

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And it's just so wild to me

how that has become so like.

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Normal and accepted in my brain.

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Like I almost wasn't even allowing myself

to create something more simple than that.

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I truly bought into the idea that like

I have to, and it's also this obsession

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of knowing who your ideal client avatar

is, and I don't subscribe to the language

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at all, but like really tapping into

who is this for and how can I basically

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translate what I know to benefit them?

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What's the solution

that I could give them?

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And.

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That requires obviously clarity on,

on, on knowing so deeply what they're

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struggling with that you can hand

them like here's the silver platter.

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Here's the solution.

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You have to pay me and

then I'll give it to you.

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And it's funny to name that out loud

because that's not what coaching is like.

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This is another thing I've

been chewing on is just the.

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The lost art of coaching that I think

many of us are witnessing and maybe even

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being a part of without realizing it.

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And when you think about what

coaching truly is, it's about

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holding space for someone, right?

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It's about helping them

to see their blind spots.

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It's about meeting them where they're

at and helping them transform.

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And expand and hold themselves through

whatever they are meeting, right?

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It's not about having a flashy solution.

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It's not about giving them

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advice and like this foolproof

step-by-step strategy and do this,

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and this, and then you'll get.

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X, Y, Z, right?

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Any coach I know doesn't actually

approach their coaching like that.

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But we do see that in the coaching

industry, in the sense of offer creation.

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And why this is feeling really alive for

me right now is because I just basically

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created a bespoke, so how you say it?

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Bespoke.

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Bespoke, is that the right word?

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It sounds like so feminine and.

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I don't know, elegant when I see it

written in my head, but when I just said

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it out loud, it sounds really weird.

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Anyways, like this bespoke package,

like I asked her what she needed.

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I asked her what's worked well in the

past, and I met her there and I said,

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okay, this is also what Im willing to.

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To offer, right?

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This is what I have the energetic capacity

to give, and this is like the price point.

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And we even went back and forth on

pricing and that felt really clean for me.

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Like why is it that me as the coach,

and I'm talking about like the.

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The normalization in the coaching industry

is that like we determine this is what

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you need, this is how much it's gonna be,

and if you're not willing to spend that

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money, if you're not willing to invest,

then there's something wrong with you.

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And obviously like this this kind

of narrative that like as coaches,

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we need to charge what we're worth.

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And that doesn't even make sense, right?

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When you actually dig into

what the fuck does that mean?

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I'm.

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I'm priceless.

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But like when I really just sit with

who this client is, what they are

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expecting of me and what my energetic

capacity is right now, it felt really

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clean to find a price point that I.

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That didn't feel completely

stretchy for her and also felt

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like a clean exchange for me.

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And I think it's really beautiful that

it gets to be unique for that client

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because there's gonna be another

client who maybe has slightly different

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expectations of me and the price point

that they're willing to exchange is

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gonna be different because they are

living a completely different life and.

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I don't know.

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Obviously, like I need to

have a bare minimum, right?

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I need to have terms and

conditions for myself that I'm not

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necessarily willing to waver on.

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But within that, there just gets

to be some flexibility and I'm not

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necessarily seeing the option for

flexibility if all we're teaching.

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Is create this container and say how many

weeks it's gonna be and how long the calls

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are gonna be, and how often you get to

meet and structure out exactly like who

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it's for and what we're gonna talk about.

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Like who is that actually serving?

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Truly who is that actually serving?

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Anyways, these are just my random thoughts

and something that I'm really gonna sit

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with in my own business going forward

is yeah, creating bespoke packages.

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So like having this is what it starts at.

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But also like giving clients the option

and the autonomy to, to be honest

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about what they can truly afford.

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Because the narrative of oh like

you are not investing in yourself

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like that is garbage, because

that number totally depends on

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their unique financial situation.

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And I don't think it's

our job to, dictate that.

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The other piece to all of this is just the

simplicity of this whole process for me.

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So obviously we had a

conversation on Zoom.

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We agreed that this felt in alignment

and because this was a package that

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I'm literally creating for her.

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It means there's no sales page.

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It's, there's no fancy

links for her to click on.

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There's no email welcome sequence

or automation that I have to have.

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I literally created a Stripe link and

emailed it to her with a calendar invite.

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And it's just so funny to think back on

like an older version of me, especially

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when I was beginning my business and

beginning coaching and just feeling like I

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had to have all those things in order to.

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To even feel like official.

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It's just so funny, right?

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Like I don't need the links, I

don't need the email sequences.

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I don't need the fancy like payment.

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Software systems.

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I literally just sent her a Stripe

link and an email calendar invite.

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Like it is that easy.

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And I think I should weave in here

a conversation around contracts.

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I feel like there's again, this,

everyone's gonna have their own take

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on contracts and I don't think there's

a right or wrong, but for me it's

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always felt almost like overkill.

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Like I feel like I'm in

relationship with my clients.

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And I even said to this

person on Zoom today, like.

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When I am working long term with a

client, like I fall in love with you,

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I fall in love with my clients because

I so deeply care about them and I've

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been invited into their inner worlds

and into their vulnerability and so

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how can you not fall in love with them?

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And I don't have contracts with

people I fall in love with.

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I trust myself and I trust the

relationship and the people that I'm

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calling to be in relationship with me

in this context to be able to respect.

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Boundaries and maturely communicate

and obviously people are gonna have a

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different stance on this, but for me it's

just again, always felt like overkill.

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It's always felt like something that's

on my to-do list that I can't, I'm not

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gonna be a real coach unless I have

all these like contracts drawn up.

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And it almost feels like that,

like dehumanizes the entire

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experience because truly it is

just a relationship we're building.

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Yes, it's a professional relationship.

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So yes, there's gonna be, the

financial exchange, right?

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There's that energetic exchange

financially, and I'm very clear

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with what I'm offering and I'm

having these conversations and

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I'm writing them in emails, right?

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About what that financial commitment

and exchange is giving you.

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But I don't know.

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I don't need like a 17 page PDF

that nobody's actually gonna read.

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Basically just saying don't sue me.

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Maybe this is also, 'cause I'm Canadian

and like we don't sue people up here.

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I know in America people

are suing left and center.

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So maybe this is my own

bias being a Canadian.

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But yeah, I just wanted to share some

of this because it was feeling really

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alive for me and I had a pocket of time.

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And I think, yeah, the conversation just

around like losing the art of coaching

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is also something that I'm deeply chewing

on it truly has been this whitewashed.

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Industry.

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And when you think of like the big names

in coaching, like Tony Robbins and I

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can't even think of the names right now.

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Tony Robbins is definitely coming to

mind and thinking of like the culture

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he's built and the manipulations and

little like cult environment he teaches.

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It's so interesting because

when you think of the lineage.

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Of business coaches, the lineage of

people that many of us are learning how

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to quote unquote, be a coach from, or

how to run a coaching business from,

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it's all trickling back to that and.

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That truly isn't what

coaching actually is, right?

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We've stripped away the sacredness and

the intimacy and the relationality,

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if that's a word in coaching, and

it's become something that is so

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transactional and very much putting

like the coach on a pedestal and on

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a hierarchy, and the client lower

down so the coach knows better.

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The coach is offering the

solution the advice, and basically

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continuing to disempower.

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Their client to make them feel

like they always need a coach.

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And that's obviously where the

money making potential is created.

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And that's so gross.

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That's so gross.

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And so I'm very much in alignment

with we are just in relationship.

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. We are actually at the same table.

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I'm not like on a soapbox,

I'm not lecturing you.

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I am not telling you what

you should or should not do.

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My approach has always been very

explorative as opposed to prescriptive.

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But now when I'm thinking about the

normalization of just like the business

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and marketing side of things like

I was naming, know who your ideal

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client is and like niche down and.

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Be so clear on what their conscious

desires are so that you can offer them

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this solution that is a no brainer.

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I don't fucking know what the

solution is because I don't

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actually I can't come up with that.

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For you, that is more of like an educator

role that is more of a mentorship role

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that is more of a, that's not coaching.

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Coaching is literally, I am like

creating this container to hold

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space for you, to meet you, to see

you, and to help you see yourself.

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To help you see your blind spots, to help

you see where you're meeting resistance,

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and not looking at how do we like force

our way through that resistance, but let's

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actually look at what that resistance

is showing us and let's like follow that

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energy and tap into that energy and.

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I wanna empower you so that eventually

you don't even need me anymore.

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I literally yeah.

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Isn't that funny that I literally

wanna like coach people out of my job.

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I.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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This feels complete for now.

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I'm gonna leave it at that.

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I wanted this one to be short.

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Just some quick thoughts.

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I'm gonna try to do more of

these just like quick thoughts.

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Instead of like hour long

rambles and obviously I.

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The hour long rambles are amazing

too, so I will be doing those, but

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I have some guests that I'm looking

forward to having on the show and

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having conversations with them.

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So those will likely be longer

episodes, and I want to be showing

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up to this space more with just

some bite sized musings for you.