33. HOW TO SWAP PRESSURE FOR PLAY AND CREATE CONTENT AND OFFERS OUT OF DESIRE NOT OBLIGATION

Nicole [: 00:00:00

You're listening to rewild and free. This is the go to podcast for conscious and holistic mother entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance while creating impact and legacy in their home and business. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Paszweir, your like hearted mom friend and biz bestie wrapped in one. I'm an ex nurse turned matressant's guide and business coach leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Where thriving in motherhood is your birthright, and so is a successful and sustainable online business. Keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood, bro marketing, and boss babe culture. Because in this space, We use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living. Together, let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters.

Nicole [: 00:00:49

Okay, friend. Steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today, and let's go. Hello. Welcome to another episode of the passed. I have been feeling a lot of, I guess, resistance coming to record Accord for this show, and I realized I'm once again putting a ton of pressure on myself. I'm trying to make this thing perfect, and I just Desperately do not want to let anyone down. And I realize how silly all of that is because, Honestly, like, the more real and messy I can show up here, I know that that just just gives you all permission to show up real and messy, and that really is something that I really value. I was just thinking today, like, the more me I can be allows you to be more you.

Nicole [: 00:01:47

And by me telling myself that I don't have something worthy or valuable to speak on is potentially doing a huge disservice to you as a listener. Who am I to decide what you need to hear on on any given day. So I really need to get out of my head and into my heart, which is something I feel like I'm always preaching. And, yeah, this week has really been a just, I guess, an opportunity for me to really practice what I preach and embody The work that I'm doing. And so that means here I am, literally no idea what I wanna talk about. Actually, no. That's So I do. I have an idea, but I don't know how in-depth I'm gonna go.

Nicole [: 00:02:36

I don't know really what's gonna come out of my mouth. But I do wanna share, I guess, a bit of an update, and I'll start with sharing that I've been I've been feeling a lot of urgency. I think that's the right word to use. Yeah. Just this urgent type pressure to start bringing in more consistent income from this business. And, basically, up until now, there hasn't been a lot of consistency. I've really been playing around with My offerings, I've been playing around with, like, group coaching with, like, my mastermind and my, Previous offers that have been a group container versus 1 on 1 coaching versus, like, 1 off workshops. Yeah.

Nicole [: 00:03:30

Just really playing around with what actually is fun for me and what feels like a good exchange of my time versus what I'm being compensated, and all of these things, you really don't know until you try. And it's It's kind of funny because I keep asking myself, like, Nicole, what would feel fun right now? Like, what do you actually wanna do? Especially because a big part of my message is, basically, like, taking action based on desire and not obligation. So part of that is being able to discern what your desires even are. And that's something I've been struggling with. So when I've been asking myself that quest question And of, Nicole, what would actually be fun right now, I'm kind of just, like, like, blank. Like, I don't know. I don't know what would be fun right and so, yeah, it's just kind of a humble reminder. If you don't know what feels good until you start trying things on for size.

Nicole [: 00:04:29

It's literally like clothes. Right? Like, you don't know what fits good. You don't know what makes you feel like you until you start trying trying the damn clothes on. So all of this to say that, like, if you are in this season of struggling to even know what your desires are and struggling to even know what would bring you joy and what would feel fun and easeful in your business, That's an invitation to just start playing. It can be that simple. Like, that's all you need to do is start trying things out and trying things those things without any pressure of a certain outcome. And I guess that's kind of where I've been at Lately, as I've been in this place of wanting to perfect and wanting to find almost like that one thing in my business that I can just make repeatable and have just going all the time. And I think for a while, I thought that was gonna be my mastermind.

Nicole [: 00:05:27

I've been running, facilitating a 6 month long mastermind called Recalibrate, and I absolutely love it. We meet weekly. And after each Call every week. I am so lit up and energized by the group of women that I'm holding inside, and I know I wanna continue facilitating something like that. But part of the problem was I was really attached to this date of thinking, okay. Well, if they're 6 if it's a 6 Month long container. I only want women to be able to join 2 times a year. So in my mind, I had The winter and summer summer solstice really, really, like, written in stone in this, like, mental calendar that I have in my head.

Nicole [: 00:06:13

And so you can imagine the pressure that I've been feeling as we near into the middle of November and get closer and closer to December. And I don't have, like, a launch plan. I don't have Really, any clarity on what I want the next iteration of this mastermind to look like. And it's funny because, obviously, The past 5 months of running the 1st cohort have already taught me so many things. Right? It's really been and experience of getting to learn what I love and what I don't love. So, obviously, that is all data to put towards, kind of if you think of this as like a science experiment, it's all data that I can put towards this science experiment in knowing what I wanna do next and what I don't wanna do do next. But the timeline of thinking that I need to launch another cohort by December 21st was putting so much unnecessary pressure on me that it started to not be fun anymore. And I was Completely feeling blocked, I guess, but not even blocked in the sense of, like, something being in my way of, like, meeting resistance, systems, but more in the sense of being so constricted and contained that my creativity couldn't even, like, pour out of that containment if it wanted to, and that was really limiting.

Nicole [: 00:07:36

And I I've only realized this now that I've detached from that date. So, yeah, long story short, I've detached from that date. I know I wanna run, recalibrate, or a version of it again. I know I want that to be something that is basically a constant in my offer suite. I just don't know when the next cohort will actually launch. And I'm totally okay with that because I know from experience now and just learning how creation moves through me that the clarity will come exactly when it's supposed to, and it's not something I can force. And when it's here, it's gonna come through me like verbal diarrhea. And yeah.

Nicole [: 00:08:20

So I'm just patiently, eagerly, excitedly waiting for that because I know it will come when it's supposed to. And, anyways, with all of that, while I was attached to the timeline of the December 21st start date, I was I was telling myself that I needed kind of a smaller offering of some sort to potentially Lead women into this mastermind. And not even lead into, but just something to, give potential clients a taste of what it's like to work with me in, like, a group setting. And so, again, I attached myself to to this strategy, thinking this is exactly what I needed to do. And, again, it put a bunch of unnecessary pressure and urgency on on creating something and trying to, like, fill this box that I told myself I needed to check off. And, again, since I've detached from the timeline of December 21st, That's also created some freedom and flexibility with this kind of, like, interim offering, and that has felt really, really good too. And since I've Since I've kinda come to this place and met peace with with the timelines, I can I can very confidently say that there's been a huge shift in my creativity and my, I would say, like, inner peace and, like, calmness and just, like, energetically, things don't feel so stagnant, and constricted anymore? And that is such a beautiful place to be in. It's, again, something to kind of add to the resume of, okay, I know what it feels It's like when I'm when I'm living in this flow state versus in this Fitting myself in a box state.

Nicole [: 00:10:08

And I guess the reason I'm sharing all of this is because I think it can be so easy as mother entrepreneurs to feel like we need to have certain offers, feel like we need to maybe have, say, like, 1 on 1 offering at, like, a certain price point and then maybe, like, a group offering at a certain price point and maybe even, like, a freebie, something that is likely collecting dust in our potential client's inbox. More on that later. I have become quite passionate on the idea of what a lead magnet should be, and That very common downloadable PDF is not is not necessarily my suggestion there. But I think you get what I mean. Like, we in the coaching industry, especially, it's become very common to have, Like, 2, 3, 4 things in your offer suite all at kind of different price points, and we can feel ourselves Kind of, again, putting ourselves in this box to make sure we have each of these things and trying to make sure our offers are accessible to a bunch of different people, meaning, like, different price points and different time investments and, like, all these things. But at the end of the day, it's still kind of putting yourself in a box. And so, like, the message here is really to Play around with things. Like, ditch the box.

Nicole [: 00:11:37

Just play around with things based on, like, what feels energizing and inspiring in the moment and maybe even, like, filling the gap of what you're seeing in your community. So for example, like, some of the conversations I've been having lately with with women in my community is they know that they are running this, like, heart led and soulful business. They know that they're trying to build this business out of desire and not obligation. And they've been doing all the things to really connect to themselves, connect to their body. They've been on this beautiful spiritual awakening and, like, self discovery journey. They've been doing all the things, and they just feel like they're in this season of Slowing down and integrating and really kind of coming back to center and coming back to what their own truth is before they start making moves that are more visible in their business. And so in terms of, like, the season of creation, this is very, like, Fall and winter vibes. There's a lot of below the ground work happening, and there's not necessarily a ton of Outer visible stuff that's happening.

Nicole [: 00:12:51

And with that, like, these women are are kind of feeling like well, they're they're just they're in this state of, like, hyperawareness where they're noticing All of their limiting beliefs coming to the surface. They're noticing where, their nervous system's getting dysregulated. They're noticing where, old money traumas are coming back up to the surface. They're noticing, like, all these things. And The self awareness piece is both a blessing and a curse. Right? Like, it it's super uncomfortable to have the self awareness to feel all the things. But, thankfully, like, that that means that you get to work through it and you get to likely become, like, a better version of yourself by working through it. And something that I've actually been working through in in all that is seeing those things as they come up less as A hurdle that needs to be overcome, but more as something that I get to work through and alchemize so So it actually becomes a part of me.

Nicole [: 00:13:56

I have, like, this interesting visual in my mind, and I don't even know if I'd be able to explain it. But almost like if you see this, like, little stickman figure walking over hurdles. And then, like, as he's walking forward, Those hurdles are still behind him, and he can see all the hurdles he's been over versus same stick man. But each time he kind of walks through that hurdle. That hurdle becomes part of him, and he just becomes, like, this stronger, more embodied, more powerful, more in tune, and, I don't even know what other word to put there, but just like a better version of himself or herself. And so, yeah, I've kind of been looking at these moments of resistance, It's less of something to overcome and get over and more so something to actually Integrate into into my life and take whatever, excuse me, take whatever lesson is coming from that. No idea if that made any sense. Yeah.

Nicole [: 00:15:03

I just have, like, random stickman figures playing around in my mind, and that's how the visuals work. So, Oh, man. I'm totally going off topic here as I knew I would. I think these solo episodes, it's just bound to happen But unless I actually have a very strict agenda that I'm trying to follow in this episode, I did not. So I think what I'm trying to say in all That is it can be so easy to just say that you wanna detach from time timelines that and that you just wanna follow what actually brings you joy, and you actually wanna lead by desire, not obligation. But the hard part in all of that is if you don't actually know what it is that brings you that joy. And so this is just a massive, massive permission slip to Detach from that pressure, that pressure that's likely coming from good girl conditioning and Former versions of yourself that felt like she needed to be perfect in order to be accepted into the group and in order to be loved. Really, really seeing those parts of ourselves.

Nicole [: 00:16:13

Because that's the thing is they are a part of ourselves. They're not they are a part of ourself. They're not gone. So I think the 1st step in all of that is is meeting meeting them where they're at and really Leaning into that, like, cherishing mother energy within us and Showing ourselves, like, a massive dose of self compassion and self trust. And, I mean, really, this is Inner child stuff. At its core, I think this is like inner child stuff. So really meeting and connecting with your inner child more frequently could actually be the tangible practice here. But, really, it's noticing that when those insecurities of, like, perfectionism and, Self doubt are coming up.

Nicole [: 00:17:02

It's an opportunity to to really yeah. Just, like, Not not suppressed. Not, like, not see it as frustration or like, oh, there she is again. Like, but actually almost have gratitude for, like, that part of yourself because that part of yourself has kept you safe this long. That part of yourself has kept you Included in your communities and in your friend groups, and more primarily speaking, it's allowed you to be accepted into the tribe. And way back in the day in, like, caveman era, if if you didn't show up a certain way, you very likely would have been kicked out of tribe, and that would have cost you your life. So, again, thanking that version of yourself because she has literally kept you safe. And this I mean, I could go on and on and on about just the impact all of this has on our nervous system and thinking about, like the fawn response and fitting in.

Nicole [: 00:18:01

And, really, all it comes down to is our body's sense of safety. So Part of all of this is is increasing that threshold and showing our nervous systems the difference between An actual threat versus visibility and putting yourself out there and potentially Putting out, like, b minus work or having someone disagree with you on the Internet. Like, those things those things feel like real threats to our nervous system, but the only way to start overcoming coming them is to really do it and to resource ourselves and show our nervous system safety through it. So That's part of the process as you're playing and as you're experimenting is it's kind of like if you are Taking your your kid to, I don't even know, like, a some sort of, like, extracurricular activity. Maybe it's, like, their first soccer practice. And maybe they're really nervous, and they don't know what to expect, and they don't know if they're gonna be any good. They're worried that some of the other kids are gonna have way more experience than them, All these things. And it's it's kind of treating ourselves how we would treat our kid as we're bringing them to the 1st day of soccer practice.

Nicole [: 00:19:17

Because for many of us, we're doing things for the 1st time. And even if it's not the 1st time, it it's still it's still scary because we are growing these, like, online audiences. We are making ourselves visible. We are taking risks. We are doing all the things. And, yeah, basically, what I'm trying to say is that self compassion and self trust piece is so so huge And also rooting into safety resourcing into safety and reminding our nervous systems that things are okay and that this isn't actually a threat. It's not a bear coming to attack us. We aren't gonna die.

Nicole [: 00:19:55

Yeah. So that's my 2¢ on that. That's kind of what I've been moving through is Just noticing where I've been attaching to outcomes and that pressure that comes from attaching to the outcome and the timeline, and then in comes The perfectionist trying to keep me pretty, perfect, and pleasing. And, again, that's just, like, the protector side of me trying to keep me safe. But in doing that, she's also keeping me small. So recognizing all of that and really just working my way through it, but not working my way through it in the sense of overcoming it like The goal is to put past me, but working through it in the sense of alchemizing and really allowing it to become a part of me and embodying the experience. I feel like those were a lot of big, fluffy words, but I hope that makes sense. I hope a piece of that lands.

Nicole [: 00:20:47

And as always, take what resonates and leave the rest. I'm laughing because this, at was not at all what I thought I was gonna share. What I actually wanted to use this episode for, was to talk about some of The lessons, I guess, that I have recently taken away, in terms of How I've been using social media. And so I guess I need to give you some context first. And the context is I was noticing myself having a really hard time setting and maintaining some personal boundaries with social media. I was noticing a lot of mindless scrolling. I was noticing a lot of subconscious comparison, and just, again, noticing how when I was leaving the app, what some of the mind chatter was and Just kind of where where the stories in my head were going, and it was often trying to keep up with whatever I was being online. And, basically, what my intention was was to start Cleaning up, who I was following and becoming more conscious and mindful to The feed that Instagram was giving me and, obviously, there's the algorithm that is confusing as heck.

Nicole [: 00:22:19

I don't even try to understand it. But recognizing that I do have some control in the sense of the accounts I'm following and basically teaching the algorithm what I wanted to see. So I was owning my responsibility in that and wanting to, I guess, just become really, really intentional with who I was following. And so it started by just unfollowing some of the accounts that really don't serve me in this season of my life. So for example, like, there were a ton of, like, baby led weaning accounts that obviously served a purpose back when Aubrey was, I don't know, like, 6 or 7 months old, and we were moving through a season of attempting baby led weaning. But I don't need that stuff anymore. So, yeah, cleaning out some of those accounts. And then that was pretty easy.

Nicole [: 00:23:06

And then it almost became, okay, the next level is starting to notice which accounts I'm feeling myself, like, wanting to keep up with, so that, like, comparison piece, and giving myself the opportunity to unfollow those accounts. And then it kind of got more complex because then I started to notice that even though there were certain accounts that I thought were so inspiring that I thought were having this positive impact on me, I realized they were still kind of distorting my own version of Success and my own they were blurring the lens in which I was I was expressing my my creativity, I think, is what I'm trying to say. They're almost, like, too inspirational. And it almost seems funny to say because it it seems, like, counterproductive. Like, oh, what do you mean? Like, There's so many accounts online that are so inspirational. Maybe you're even thinking, Nicole, like, your account is so inspirational. I love following you. But I would I really invite you to actually dissect that a little bit.

Nicole [: 00:24:18

And, sure, my account might be inspirational for you, but is it Actually, so inspiring that it's subconsciously making you feel like you aren't inspiring enough or that you aren't showing up authentically enough or fill in whatever it is, fill in the blank enough? Like, is there still some of that a comparison that's leaving you feel like you aren't enough in some way, that you are lacking something. Because that's what I noticed, that there were buttloads of accounts that were that were leaving me feeling that way. And it it It wasn't that they weren't awesome. Like, there are awesome accounts there, women, that I very much look up to. But in this season of my life in this season of my business creation, it felt like it was almost doing more harm than good. So the next thing I did was started to unfollow follow more and more accounts. And I started to notice where some resistance in unfollowing came from, Really deep, people pleasing tendencies and thinking, well, if I unfollow them, what are they gonna think of me? If I unfollow them, are they gonna unfollow me? And some of those questions. And when that would come up, I I almost would just like I basically, what I ended up doing, long story short, is I ripped it off like a Band day.

Nicole [: 00:25:39

And I brought my following following follower following the people I'm following, not my followers. The people I'm following, I dropped down to 0. So I started following 0. Nobody. Not a single person for I think I did this for 2 or 3 weeks. And this is the whole point of the episode is I wanna share some of some of the lessons from from doing that. And so, first of all, there were some things some patterns that I noticed in myself come up right away. And That was that my intention was to kind of cure my mindless scrolling.

Nicole [: 00:26:19

Well, of course, that just showed up somewhere else. So that either turned into me scrolling on my personal account or it turned into me scrolling Facebook or, like, more specifically, Facebook Marketplace, and my wallet probably is not happy, or even just Scrolling Pinterest or this is funny, scrolling my because I actually started to use an app blocker to block social media When I when I just felt very tempted and couldn't maintain my own boundaries and when I'd be using the app blocker, I would still just find another app to mindlessly scroll on. So it ended up either being Pinterest or being my, like, realtor app because I love looking at houses that are for sale. I've always loved doing that. So, yeah, I ended up just, like, scrolling scrolling houses in my neighborhood that are for sale. And how How like, I don't wanna call it a waste of time, but, I mean, that is not a purposeful, intentional use of my time. And if I'm looking for something to do to kind of Numb out and zone out. There's, like, other things I can be doing.

Nicole [: 00:27:21

Right? I can take a bath. I can go just, like, sit outside. I can go just Watch my kid be a kid. I could read a book. There's so many other things I could be doing than scrolling Pinterest or my realtor app. And then the other thing that was coming up was beginning to notice which accounts I was thinking about and actually wanting to search for. Because obviously, there still was a bit of a fear of missing out, but also just this genuine connection and longing to know what's going on in people's lives. And I'm glad that came up because it ended up becoming a really loud reminder for me that connection and community is such to huge value.

Nicole [: 00:28:04

So, anyways, yeah, I started to pay attention to which accounts I was checking in on almost daily. And, of course, that was my clients because I'm genuinely invested in what they're going of on what's going on in their lives. And then that was some of my close friends and then some of my close, like, coaches and mentors. So with all of that information, again, I was almost seeing this as this, like, massive science experiment and just collecting data and allowing myself to, look at all these things really objectively and not necessarily hold It has weight in the sense of, like, shaming or judging myself. And so after a couple weeks' time, None of those patterns really shifted. Instead, like I said, the the loudness of Honing in on my value of community and connection became very, very clear. And so there were a couple things that popped up. One in which I was noticing my follower count, so people following me.

Nicole [: 00:29:11

It wasn't necessarily getting lower, But there there hasn't been there hasn't been a lot of growth. And I noticed myself getting really upset by that and almost paying too much attention to the metrics. And I noticed as I would get new followers, I used to have a pretty consistent practice of connecting with new followers, Touching base, sending a DM, and just saying, like, hello, and wanting to form that genuine connection. But there was a part of me that felt like It wouldn't be authentic to do that if I wasn't gonna follow them back. Definitely wouldn't be authentic to be like, hey. Like, so and so, I'm so glad You are following me. Like, I'm really excited to share this space with you. Like, I can't say that.

Nicole [: 00:29:56

I can't say that we're sharing a space, but I'm not even following you back. So that was a very loud reminder of, this doesn't actually feel clean to me. Like, having 0 followers is not actually What feels in alignment with how I wanna grow this business? And Yeah. So what's kind of cool is as soon as I opened myself up back to gave myself the permission, I guess, to start Following people again. And, I mean, as I'm doing this, I'm I'm being very intentional with who I'm following. I'm really only Following accounts that I do feel like I have a connection to. And then, obviously, as I have Seasons in my life, say, like, the baby led weaning example. Obviously, like, I'm gonna follow accounts for, like, inspiration and education in that sense.

Nicole [: 00:30:43

But I think going forward, I almost wanna do this, like, seasonal clean out of, like, okay. I don't actually need to be following all these accounts because, honestly, it was just creating noise. It was just creating this very overwhelming space to be in. And so instead, really, my intention from the beginning was to take back my own responsibility in what is showing up on my feet. And so I guess, in full circle, I'm I'm kind of doing that. But This is just a very long winded way to say that this has really magnetized The importance of community and connection for me and, yeah. So since since I've Allowed myself, given myself that permission to start following people again. It's really cool because some of the new followers I've had have already turned into some Wildly, wildly strong connections.

Nicole [: 00:31:47

And that is super cool. And I think just this validation from the universe that This is what I'm supposed to be doing, that, like, being down to 0 followers was never what was actually right for me. Another piece to all of that is, the 0 follower idea was actually a piece of advice from a previous mentor of mine. It's what works for her. It's what feels clean. It's what helps her kind of maintain the boundaries that she has for herself on social media. And so It's just an example. I tried it on for a size, and I decided it didn't fit.

Nicole [: 00:32:22

I didn't like the way those pants fit. So I'm going back to having Followers, but just being very intentional with how many followers I have. And if we're gonna play along with the clothing clothing analogy, I'm gonna make sure to clean out my closet quite frequently, just to keep it as potent as possible. I feel like I feel like I had more to say on that. And I'm blanking in terms of what are the lessons I got from all that. But I guess, yeah, the loudest one was definitely this community piece. And, yeah, another another thing that came up In the midst of beginning to follow people again was Someone I've had a connection with for, like, over a year now, so she's watched my account evolve. She actually we were we were Talking in in the DMs, and she had said like, oh, wow, Nicole.

Nicole [: 00:33:21

Like, I just, like, looked through your account, and you really skyrocketed. And I had to stop her, and I had to say, like, what do you mean by skyrocketing? Like, are you referring to the metrics? Like, how many followers Whereas I have because I feel like a year ago, I only had, I don't know, like, 5 or 600, maybe even less. I don't remember. So maybe she was referring to that, but she she beautifully mirrored back to me that what she was seeing was My authenticity and my eagerness, I guess, to Freely pivot and just make changes when I see fit. And then also my my sense of community in the sense that, like, I'm sharing other people's accounts and I'm sharing other people's celebrating other people's wins and, yeah, just just embodying a true sense of community. And so for her to mirror that back to me all in the same time of me, Yeah. Kind of resurfacing in who I'm following. It just felt really good because it was this External validation that, I mean, I didn't need, but it was just kind of like, okay.

Nicole [: 00:34:31

Yeah. I'm on the right track. And knowing that community is such a huge value of mine, and one way for me to, yeah, really show that embody that value is to Have a connection and follow the people that I have a genuine interest in following. If you're listening to this and Into this and thinking, hey. Nicole's not following me. Please connect with me on Instagram. I'm very early on in This stage of refollowing people, so please say hi in my DMs so that we can reconnect, because I I can pretty much promise that it's not it's not me not thinking about you. It's just it's just that, like, It hasn't come up.

Nicole [: 00:35:16

So I would love for you to come up, and then I have the opportunity to follow you. Also, conversations in my DMs truly bring me so much joy, especially in the context of what's landing for you from this podcast. I really do sometimes feel like I'm speaking to no one? Because I I have no idea who's listening. I mean, I can see I can see the metrics. I can see the number of downloads, but that really doesn't mean anything. I would love to know what's actually landing for you, what what is what is making you, Like, yeah, just if there's something I'm saying that is helping you see things a little bit differently or if there's an invitation that that you are following and you would love to be cheer led. Like, I wanna be that cheerleader for you. So yeah.

Nicole [: 00:36:06

Open invitation to connect with me in my DMs on Instagram at any time. And, yeah, like, I'm I'm honestly sharing all this not because I know what I'm doing. I well, I can very confidently say that I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm sharing this as a reminder that Part of the game and part of the strategy in all of this, in this business creation season, is to just kinda fuck around. Like, just try things out. It's all play. Like, as soon as you stop playing, that puts So much unnecessary pressure on you to be perfect and perform. And I say this all the time, and maybe I don't She say it enough in this space, but one of my biggest things is connection over performance. And as soon as you creep into That side of performing, that is when you are closing up the potential For for the potential for connection.

Nicole [: 00:37:10

You are basically you are basically asking for disconnection at that point because you're closing yourself up to feeling any kind of connection with your people, with your audience, with your community, and also that performance piece, who I mean, I could I could literally do a whole episode on this, but I think that performance piece is something that has been ingrained in us from the traditional, like, pro marketing culture, and that's, like, to create that, like, how to Content and become, like, a leader in your industry. And, like, sure. All those things are cool. We do want to be educating our community. We do want to be seen as a leader. But I think that feminine leadership is a lot different than showing up and lecturing and coming across as, like, a know it all in this, like, perfectly curated human being. I don't know about you, but, like, it's such a fresh a a breath of fresh air. Fresh breath air.

Nicole [: 00:38:15

I don't know. Well, you know what I'm trying to say. A breath yeah. Breath I think I said it right the first time. A breath of fresh air to be able to see people in their, like, full self expression, being authentic, being raw, being vulnerable, being real. And like I said at the beginning of this episode, like, I am striving to be more me so that that gives you the permission to be more you. If we could all just show up a little bit more of ourselves in our you ness, I think I think things would be a lot different on social media, and I think I think our our collective feelings of loneliness, and, yeah, just, like, feelings of disconnect and feeling unseen and unheard and unrecognized. A lot of those things would go out the window if we could just show up in our you ness.

Nicole [: 00:39:10

Before I let you move on to the next podcast in your podcast queue, I just wanna circle back to what I was sharing about the group program that's been pouring out of me, and some of the the containment that I was feeling when I was trying to make it fit into this box of Well, first of all, the timeline of it being launched before December, but then also, seeing it as this funnel into my mastermind. Since I've detached from all of that, I have experienced So much more flow, for lack of a better word. And this thing has gotten so much bigger, so much deeper, so much more potent. And now it has nothing to do with funneling you or anyone into anything. It's really this stand alone creation that I think every mother entrepreneur needs to experience. It's really becoming what I see as the foundations to a embodied business, an embodied lifestyle. And that's the thing is I really don't see business separate from life and separate from mothering and separate from relationships and separate to money. Like, it I I've Stops compartmentalizing all those things in my life because I've realized that when I'm meeting when I'm meeting things, resistance.

Nicole [: 00:40:46

I don't even wanna use that word. But when I'm I'm when I'm being given an opportunity to work through something in any of those areas of my life, It's almost always a mirror and a reflection to something else in another area of my life. It's all so interconnected. And the the less I try to compartmentalize it and the more I allow it to just be this, like, one interwoven tapestry, things just feel a lot more peaceful. And so, Yeah. The thing I'm creating. I wanna tell you a little bit about it, and I want you on my wait list without giving away too much because I'm still in this Spring season of planting the seeds and and nurturing them and watering them and needing to be very protective with my energy and who I share the details with, I do just wanna say that I am likely going to be creating a group program for January. And this is really gonna be for the woman who feels like her head is getting in the way of her heart led business and who is looking to actually start integrating and implementing all of the things she's been learning and absorbing so far.

Nicole [: 00:42:08

And I really think of this cycle of unlearning, relearning, and embodying. And I think many of us aren't actually completing that cycle. We're all unlearning. We're all Kind of shedding the layers of good girl conditioning and all the other Disasters, for lack of a better word, coming from the patriarchal society that we've grown up in. So that unlearning piece is already happening. We've already been doing it. If you're listening to this, I'm gonna guess you've already been on this really massive unlearning journey. And then the next thing in the cycle, the way I see it, is relearning.

Nicole [: 00:42:49

And so that's relearning the other way. And in most cases, that's really relearning Our body and nature's wisdom and, specifically, like, the female body and reclaiming womanhood, and the power that comes with that, and all of those things. So that's kind of how I see the relearning piece. And in my own experience, like, I've already experienced this. It Started with pregnancy and birth, and then it turned into, like, just how I was understanding motherhood. Same thing. It started with unlearning all the things I knew and then relearning. And then the 3rd part of the cycle and I think this is the gap.

Nicole [: 00:43:27

This is the part that many of us are Missing or skipping or not necessarily feeling equipped to move through, likely from Some ongoing, like, nervous systems regulation or dysregulation, I should say, and just not really being in the right kind of containers where you feel safe enough to Allow yourself to unravel and come back together again. And so, yeah, the 3rd part of this cycle is the embodiment piece. So unlearn, relearn, and then embody is really the way I see all of these things. And so My intention with my next offering is gonna be a focus on that embodiment piece and really how to integrate All of the things and kind of back to my stickman analogy, if you understood it. Instead of seeing each hurdle as something to overcome, really beginning to alchemize it and let it move through you. So if this is at all sounds interesting, I'm gonna put a link for a wait list in my show notes. It really helps me to see who's interested so that I can cocreate this thing with you. So please see this wait list not as an obligation.

Nicole [: 00:44:45

I'm not gonna hunt you down and, like, make you sign up and, like, hold you accountable. Oh, you Sign up. Not playing that game. It's more just, okay, this is actually, social proof that this is something that feels needed right now in this season of your life. So it helps me to hear from you. And like I said, please, please, please DM me on Instagram. I truly do wanna I connect with each of you that are listening, and I think I'm gonna wrap it up with that. Thank you for listening, and thank you for letting me be part of your day.

Nicole [: 00:45:17

And I'll hopefully see you on Instagram if you let me know who you are. Until next time. Out. Would you guys Still be friends with me if I said Pasvir out at the end of every podcast episode? I don't even know where that's from. Oh, yes. I do. It's totally like Ryan Seacrest in his American Idol days, I think. Hilarious.

Nicole [: 00:45:37

I promised myself I'm really not gonna edit the heck out of this, So I'm gonna leave that in there even though I'm totally cringing. Someone take this mic away for me.